The Courage to Keep Living Fully: Lessons from Lily’s Journey
What the Science Says
Retirement isn’t just a financial milestone. Instead, retirement is a psychological and relational transition. Research shows that continued engagement in novel, meaningful activities strongly predicts life satisfaction in later years (Kleiber, Walker, & Mannell, 2011). Trying new experiences, from traveling to adopting new technologies. These new experiences nurture what psychologists call openness to experience, a key factor linked to successful aging and cognitive resilience (Roberts et al., 2006).
Studies also show that traveling in later life provides emotional and physical benefits. Older adults who travel report greater life satisfaction and lower levels of depression, largely because travel offers opportunities for autonomy, discovery, and social connection (Chen & Petrick, 2013). Meanwhile, maintaining caring relationships. Whether retirees travel through family, friendships, or community service correlates strongly with well-being in retirement (Windsor, Curtis, & Luszcz, 2011).
As Arthur Brooks reminds us, one of the biggest happiness traps is self-obsession. Shifting our focus outward. To focus on others, toward growth, toward service. These outward focuses increase happiness and life meaning (Brooks, 2025).
In essence, science and experience confirm: embracing new experiences, purposeful travel, and caring connections keep us truly alive in retirement: physically, mentally, and spiritually.
What I Think
I’ve known my mother-in-law, Lily, for more than thirty years. She’s 82, petite and radiant, with eyes that sparkle when she’s curious. Two years ago, she lost her beloved husband, Paul. For 18 months, grief enveloped her. Then, slowly, she began to re-emerge. Lily is not the same as before. She is deeper, wiser, and ready to live again.
Lily shows me daily that, despite loss or illness, retirement is a new chapter defined by courage and ongoing vitality. Retirement is not an ending.
She recently flew across the country, 5½ hours from the East Coast to California, to visit her 99-year-old sister-in-law, Mrs. Kai. Many people half her age would hesitate, but Lily’s caring spirit outweighed her fear. Her willingness to travel wasn’t about sightseeing. It was about connection. It was about the caring to see and be seen.
During her visit, she tried two things she had once dismissed as “not safe”: a driverless Waymo ride and sailing on the San Francisco Bay. Watching her hoist a sail. Her cheeks lifted by the wind and laughter. I thought about what aging gracefully looks like.
Her joy reinforced the main message: the courage to try, the willingness to travel, and the commitment to connection aren’t luxuries. They are what make life matter at every age.
What You Can Do
If you’re entering or living in retirement, take a look at Lily’s journey.
Here’s how you can weave courage, curiosity, and care into your next chapter:
- Try something new. Learning stimulates your brain and builds confidence. It can be as small as taking a new route home, joining a painting class, or testing out a new piece of technology. Like Lily’s first Waymo ride! Studies show that novelty helps maintain cognitive flexibility and positive mood (Park et al., 2014).
- Say yes to travel. You don’t need to cross oceans. A day trip, a new park, or a family visit counts. Travel broadens your perspective and fosters gratitude for what you already have. The key is not the distance, but the mindset of exploration.
- Stay connected. Relationships are the heartbeat of happiness. Whether it’s visiting an old friend, volunteering at your church, or calling your grandchildren weekly, connection protects against loneliness and fuels purpose.
- Care deeply, not broadly. You don’t need to fix the world; caring for one person meaningfully can transform your own well-being. Psychologists call this “generativity,” the desire to contribute to others, a defining mark of healthy aging (Erikson, 1950; McAdams & de St. Aubin, 1992).
- Focus outward. As Arthur Brooks (2025) notes, we often find joy not by focusing on our happiness but by serving others. Volunteer, mentor, or simply listen; it’s the antidote to loneliness and self-preoccupation.
Every act of courage, no matter how small, affirms that life remains meaningful and full of possibility at every age.
Want to Learn More?
If Lily’s story resonates with you, start by reflecting on three questions:
- What’s one new thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
- Who in your life might need to hear from you today?
- Where could you go? Somewhere near or far that would make your spirit come alive again?
To explore more about happiness and purpose in later life, check out:
Brooks, A. C. (2025). Why Self-Obsession Is a Personal Hell. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/09/self-obsession-happiness-dante/680017/
Chen, C. C., & Petrick, J. F. (2013). Health and wellness benefits of travel experiences: A literature review. Journal of Travel Research, 52(6), 709–719. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258161384_Health_and_Wellness_Benefits_of_Travel_Experiences
Kleiber, D. A., Walker, G. J., & Mannell, R. C. (2011). A social psychology of leisure. Venture Publishing. https://sagamorepub.com/products/a-social-psychology-of-leisure-3rd-ed-2
Roberts, B. W., Walton, K. E., & Viechtbauer, W. (2006). Patterns of mean-level change in personality traits across the life course: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 132(1), 1–25. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16435954/
Windsor, T. D., Curtis, R. G., & Luszcz, M. A. (2011). Social resources as predictors of quality of life in older adults: The role of social engagement and social support. The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 66(6), 700–710.
If you are in or near retirement, remember: living bravely, by seeking new experiences, traveling with meaning, and caring deeply, defines your journey. Lily proves that adventure depends on attitude, not age.
For a full travel video: