What is one retirement asset people should talk about, but they don’t?
I spend much of my time researching and coaching pre-retirees & retirees to prepare for and navigate retirement. As a CFP® practitioner, financial planning professor, and researcher, retirement planning often focuses on:
- How much to withdraw from their retirement resources to support their lifestyle?
- How to minimize the risks of running out of retirement resources?
- How to potentially minimize current taxes to boost monthly retirement income?
- How to mitigate risks of unexpected financial shocks such as healthcare, etc.?
These retirement planning topics matter to achieve the client’s goals that are most important to them.
My parents live in Taipei, Taiwan. I live in Charlotte, NC. My mom and I have a weekly FaceTime call. During one of our recent conversations, my 86-year-old mom reminded me of something equally important – friendship as an asset in retirement resources.
My mom attended her 66th college reunion in Taipei recently. The photo she shared included 20 classmates, all between the ages of 86 and 88. They gathered at a modest restaurant for four hours of conversation, laughter, and reconnection. My Mom could hardly stop talking about her experience.
As she shared story after story, I found myself reflecting on three lessons from her reunion stories that align closely with what research has been telling us for years:
- The importance of social engagement in friendship
- The role of attitude in aging
- The value of relationships that compound over time
My mom’s reunion story stuck with me the most: their willingness to continue showing up for one another after 66 years.
Making and Maintaining Friendships Is a Lifelong Skill
One of the most remarkable aspects of the reunion was not the event itself but the effort required to make it happen. One of my mom’s classmates has served as the group’s organizer for decades. She assumed responsibility for keeping the group connected. Before each reunion, she personally calls every classmate to confirm attendance. Over the years, she has developed deep and meaningful relationships with each member of the group.
The classmates also stay connected through a LINE messaging group (a popular app in Taiwan). Technology helps, but technology is not what sustains relationships.
People do.
Researchers have long found that social connectedness is associated with greater life satisfaction, emotional well-being, and healthier aging (Holt-Lunstad, Smith, & Layton, 2010). Strong relationships provide emotional support, reduce feelings of isolation, and create a sense of belonging throughout life. One of my favorite authors, David Brooks, suggests that meaningful relationships are built through truly seeing others, listening deeply, and helping one another make sense of life’s stories (Brooks, 2023). Learning from my mom’s reunion, I was reminded that friendships lasting more than six decades rarely happen by accident. Like physical health or financial health, relationships require intentional investment from both leaders and participants over time.
Attitude Shapes Aging More Than Age Itself
When my mom excitedly described her 66th reunion event. She never mentioned accomplishments.
She talked about laughter.
She talked about friendships.
She talked about seeing people she genuinely cared about.
Most importantly, she talked about how happy she felt. She was proud of how this group had maintained its friendship for 66 years.
That same positive outlook is evident in my mom’s daily life. On Mondays she sings with friends. During the week she plays mahjong with long-time companions. Weekends often include family gatherings, visits with friends, or travel. She also attends reunions with former coworkers. Her calendar remains full of meaningful relationships and purposeful activities.
It is full because she chooses to remain engaged with life.
Research on active aging consistently suggests that engagement, purpose, and participation are important contributors to well-being later in life (Rowe & Kahn, 1997). Similarly, psychological resilience research suggests that maintaining positive social relationships helps individuals adapt successfully to life’s inevitable changes and challenges (Ong, Bergeman, Bisconti, & Wallace, 2006).
The most vibrant seniors are not necessarily those who avoid difficulties. Often, they are the ones who continue participating in life despite them.
Relationships Are Investments That Compound Over Time
As a CFP® practitioner and financial planning professor, I frequently teach the concept of compound growth. Small actions repeated consistently over long periods often produce extraordinary results.
In many ways, friendships behave like compound interest. The friendships represented at my mom’s reunion did not suddenly appear when these classmates reached their late 80s. They were built through decades of conversations, shared experiences, celebrations, losses, and life’s ordinary moments.
Over time, these accumulated friendships and experiences became more valuable than a reunion. They became an obvious asset in retirement resources, often overlooked.
It was a community.
Interestingly, my mother shared that most conversations centered on relationships rather than accomplishments. Grandchildren were a frequent topic. Personal achievements seemed secondary.
That observation resonated with me. As we grow older, relationships often become more meaningful than the accomplishments we once worked so hard to achieve.
A Reflection for Pre-Retirees and Retirees
One lesson I have learned from both my professional work and my research is that financial planning is not the destination.
Financial planning is a tool.
The purpose of financial planning is to help people spend more time doing what matters most to them. For some people, that may be travel. For others, it may be family, volunteering, faith communities, hobbies, learning, or lifelong friendships.
The answer is different for every individual. In his recent work, Jim Collins argues that a meaningful life is not built around comfort or convenience. Instead, fulfillment often comes from accepting responsibility for what matters most to us and intentionally investing our time and energy into those commitments (Collins, 2026). Retirement (financial) resources matter because they provide options, flexibility, and freedom. But ultimately, freedom is valuable because it allows us to invest our time in the people, activities, and causes that give our lives meaning.
My mom’s reunion reminded me that one of the greatest investments we can make may not be found in a brokerage account or among our financial assets. It may be found in the people (friends & families) we choose to stay connected with throughout our lives.
Mom’s reunion was not simply a celebration of the past. It was evidence that a meaningful life can remain vibrant well into our later years when we continue investing in friendships, maintaining a positive outlook, and staying engaged with the people around us.
Many people spend decades preparing financially for retirement. My mom’s reunion reminded me that we should spend equal time preparing relationally for retirement as well
After 66 years, Mom’s classmates are still showing up for one another.
Perhaps engaged friendship (an asset in retirement resources) is one of the most powerful indicators for successful aging.
References
Brooks, D. (2023). How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. New York: Random House.
Collins, J. (2026). What to Make of a Life: Cliffs, Fog, Fire and the Self-Knowledge Imperative. New York: Harper Edge.
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. (2010, July 27). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. Retrieved from PLOS Medicine: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
Ong, A. D., Bergeman, C. S., Bisconti, T. L., & Wallace, K. A. (2006). Psychological resilience, positive emotions, and successful adaptation to stress in later life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(4), 730–749. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.4.730.
Rowe, J. W., & Kahn, R. L. (1997). Successful Aging. Retrieved from The Gerontologist: https://doi.org/10.1093/geront/37.4.433